Thanks to God my book Get Married and Save the World was just released. It is my labor of love for the Church, and for all my brothers and sisters in Christ. If you believe in the vision and purpose of this book, please share it with others, post online, and give it a positive review. I pray God to use it as His weapon, to be His arrow to strike down the flesh, and point to life in Christ.
You can get the book at the sites below: Xulon Press Christian Publishers: https://www.xulonpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.php?PB_ISBN=9781545659052&HC_ISBN= Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Married-Save-World-Christian/dp/1545659052/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=%22get+married+and+save+the+world%22&qid=1554750022&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1131130089?ean=9781545659052 I ask people to use the Xulon Press bookstore instead of the others, as they are a Christian business, which is why I chose them as a publisher in the first place. “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. Isaiah 54:4-5
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You can listen to my radio interview with Tina Gang at 90.9 in Lancaster, Ohio right here: refreshing909.com/ca
You can scroll down and find it under Thomas Ackerman and my book name: Get Married and Save the World. The date is Thursday, March 14. You can also go straight to Part 1 or Part 2 below: Part 1: https://s3.amazonaws.com/communityaccent/ComAcc-20190314-1.mp3 Part 2: https://s3.amazonaws.com/communityaccent/ComAcc-20190314-2.mp3 The interview went well, and the time just flew by. We talked about biblical authority, preparing for marriage, how the Trinity relates to the family, marriage permanence, and the importance of the wife's role as homemaker, among other things. I was happy to hear that Tina said personally off the air the book had blessed her, and she planned to share it with her husband. I was very honored to have the chance to share these truths, and want this message about marriage to reach the brethren. I expect the book to be on sale within the next two weeks, as I have given them the go-ahead on the final edit. You can get it at www.xulonpress.com and also at Amazon and B&N. However, I ask people to use Xulon Press, since they are a Christian business. The law of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn one away from the snares of death. Proverbs 13:14 One of the reasons to call this book Get Married and Save the World is because marriage legitimately protects and preserves human life. It has surely saved many. The life-preserving benefits of marriage are well documented, and while I have not tried to be comprehensive about it, I included several studies and articles dealing with this. Perhaps the most thorough, is Why Marriage Matters 30 Conclusions from the Social Sciences, by a group called, Family Scholars. Marriage benefits us in our happiness, our safety, our health and more. When it comes to children, it helps ensure better mental health for children, better education, less likelihood to be involved in sex out of wedlock, and much less likelihood to commit crime and do violence. The Holy Bible and human reason agree, as they always do when understood correctly. Marriage is good for people, and that is observable fact. Tearing apart marriage is like setting afire the ship that keeps you afloat. Other similar studies I included were, The Effects of Divorce on America, by Patrick Fagan and Robert Rector; which documents many of the ill effects of divorce, both on the adults involved and the children. Divorce brings both pain and destruction on multiple levels. Interestingly, along with a stew of other problems, families of divorce see religious life decrease, a faith life which is in itself tied to greater happiness and a better lifestyle. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study, is also important, not because its results are really a surprise, but because it is so comprehensive and covers such a long period of time. This study followed the children of divorce for decades, and looked at the results of it in their lives, compared to children of intact homes. I included a number of quotes from the children in the study, and they really are saddening to read. It makes you ache for them. I also cited “The Fatherless Generation” Statistics
As I have a tendency to read about true crime, it was natural for me to look at the results of divorce when it comes to violence, murder and suicide. In fact, when you think that it involves ripping apart one flesh, one being united by God, you’ve almost got to expect painful and rage filled results. The studies on the link between divorce and violence are predictable, and like others, prove marriage’s life-giving properties, and the poisonous nature of ending marriage. Violence drastically increases in the period shortly after a separation or divorce. So does the likelihood of murder or suicide. In some countries the chance of suicide more than doubled. Men are much more likely to end their lives in suicide after a divorce, with women showing very little increase in it. I cited articles Divorce, Murder and Suicide on DivorceForce and Suicide and Divorce at divorceinfo.com, among others. I pray every day for God to restore marriage in His Church. To restore broken marriages. To turn the people away from their divorces and remarriages. I pray with confidence that the Lord can do this, and that revival can hopefully be very near. I know God is powerful. I know Christ rules. I hope this reminder of marriage’s life-giving power places the same wish on your heart, and you know by God’s power He can do this. Grace will restore the Church. Grace will restore marriage. This is a drawing our boy did of him with our pastor, back where we used to live. It's a really good likeness of the pastor!
I included a significant section on modesty in Chapter 1 of Get Married and Save the World. I also included a shorter discussion of it in the second chapter. I include it because it is indispensable in our spiritual walk, and indispensable in our home life. Modesty is holy, it is obedient to God, and it is beautiful. Modesty manages to be beautiful without appealing to outer adornment, and trying to create an artificial exterior appeal. Rather, it successes are in allowing the simple spiritual holiness, and the Spirit of God to shine though. This is especially true of the woman; she represents the Bride of Christ, being washed clean by Christ, and who also is designed by our creator to be the beautiful one. Modesty does not try and cover up the woman with shiny things. Rather it lets her be herself, simple, and plain, and with the beauty of holiness announcing her presence. If you have ever seen it, you will know what I mean. It can shine spiritual beauty a mile away, whereas makeup, jewelry, and showing off the flesh never could. They simply cover it up. Along with this discussion, I briefly go over the Christian headcovering, which while it is instructed for women during worship, has often been interwoven with a modesty tradition, and worn all the time. Headcoverings were the norm for Christian women for most of the past 2,000 years, at least when in the church service. It is interesting that when western women chose to get rid of their headcoverings, they ALSO got rid of a lot of other things, along with taking off their other clothes, disregarding good doctrine, and disrespecting what the headcovering actually represents: the very headship of their husbands. Interestingly, there are so many big things wrapped up in this little piece of cloth. Removing it has been connected to unsuspected and broad-reaching harm. There may be a variety of legitimate standards of modesty, but I think the clearest, and the one which presents a good template for me, is the Mennonite standard. I don’t follow it precisely, but it is a model for me. I have also seen other good standards of modesty either from other religions or cultures, such as within Orthodox Judaism, or in traditional Asian or Andean cultures, which at the minimum do not show off the woman’s flesh. A lack of adornment is somewhat harder to find culturally, as many cultures have loved adornment, something the Christian is not looking to rely on. Amish and Mennonites have clear standards in those areas, and don’t wear trendy clothing, makeup or jewelry. Remember, modesty is a command of God, and it is an outward revealing of great spiritual truths. It communicates the simplicity and meekness of the Christian heart. It communicates the garments of righteousness which are mean to flow from us. It shows our dependence of God, rather than our own desire for attention, and machinations to get it. It also makes the woman less of an object of lust or aggression. The headcovering is uniquely connected to man’s fall and redemption, as it is a picture of the woman’s submission, and sanctification under her husband. It pictures the right order between man and woman. It shows the woman redeemed. I know that won’t all sound appealing to people attracted to the sensual, or to the fashionable, but that’s not who we should be anyway. It’s not what the Christian should be looking for. This practice should be incredibly attractive to us, since it glorifies God, and uplifts the spirit. We should be able to see the beauty in it, the heavenly, and want it deeply. Despite much of what you see around us today, modesty is Christian. It’s the Christian thing to do. It helps us walk together in righteousness with the Lord. It is a picture of heaven. Here are just some of the things the secular society has to do to make the woman act like the man (aka: be liberated, empowered, independent, feminist, free):
If you doubt a single one of the above points I have made, go research it for yourself. I believe you will find each one to be true. They are not my opinion. If you recoil in anger, I only suggest that reaction is due to your social programming, and not your meditation on truth. Examine each point. Trying to make the woman like the man, and to make her behave like the man, is unnatural and is a source of destruction. It is also boldly against the revealed will of God. The woman must not act like the man. Christians repent!
One of the underlying themes throughout this book is how much rests on trusting the Word of God. Biblical authority does not get a chapter of its own, but I want to make it clear that little in this book on marriage, and little in our faith, is possible without our trust in God’s Word. If we trust in The Almighty, we trust in the words He speaks to us. We could not speak of marriage as a covenant for life, without the foundation of the Bible. We could still know its benefits, and we could still recognize its overall intention is for life, but we could not speak of a lifelong covenant with any authority without our trust in the Bible. The same is true for other doctrines. The relationship between husband and wife, and all it entails, although we can see creation provide a rough guide for it, cannot be preached with certain truth without the Bible. The Bible is God breathed, and God speaks only truth. There is no falsehood in what is breathed by the Eternal One.
This is why we can see what people have to do when they want to avoid what the Bible teaches. When they see doctrines that grate against their pride or against their lifestyle. The liberal, or the one who goes liberal for this or that doctrine, has to grasp at alleged exceptions, or has to point and shoot and call divine teaching mere culture. He has to pretend that some rare usage of a word can be stuck into that passage and make it mean something else, totally outside of the natural flow of the text. Basically, to go liberal one has to go soft on reasoning. One has to find fault with the plain teaching of God’s Word and uplift rather soft forms of reasoning that we don’t usually rely on elsewhere. It is always the exception erases the rule, or what God says in just ancient culture. Debates with liberals get predictable after a while. This is what you will always see. I spend a good deal of time in Get Married and Save the World answering the opponents of simple biblical doctrine. I answer many, but not all of common objections to marriage doctrine. Those who want to deny male headship. Those who want women to abandon home and children for a career. Those who think we can end marriages and join with new husbands or wives. Someone said I sound like I’m arguing with internet “trolls,” but sadly the fact is far from it. Most of the writing comes from experience not with “trolls” but with pastors and other “ministers” who have made it their calling to damage Christian marriage and the home. I’ve heard those objections from apparent men of God. I know countless other Christians hear them too. So I want to provide clear answers and refute them. I believe the answers I provide are strong, although it is not the point of the book to answer to each one, as there is limited time devoted to apologetics. It is more a marriage guide than a doctrinal defense. However, I want to warn you against a couple of major attacks on the truth and authority of God’s Word right here. Not against particular doctrines, but against His Word. Several strategies the demons use to sow doubt. The first is that my relationship with God provides me with new revelation, and that this has the same authority as Scripture. This kind of thinking most obviously supplants the Bible in its centrality in guiding us. Moreover, even when people try and put this supposed new revelation a little beneath God’s word, simply by uplifting it as revelation it commonly supplants God’s Word anyway. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a Charismatic claim that God was behind having women preach in their church, or God was behind their divorce and remarriage, I would be a very rich man. That is to say nothing of those who claim God is behind some atrocious decision they made in life. Uplifting our personal feelings as new revelation results in an attack on God’s Word and it encourages disobedience. Even if we claim that God’s Word is still the bar of truth, that claim is often mere lip service. The bar gets ignored. Another common attack, which I have mentioned, and which you hear not only from obvious liberals, is that various commands -- including ethical ones, and including New Testament ones -- are simply ancient culture. God’s Word is just culture. Brethren, if that is the case, if actual moral commands and New Testament teaching is written off as mere culture, then nearly anything else can be too. The Bible would be ours to write and rewrite as we decided this or that could be disregarded because we said so. You shall not murder? That was written when there were fewer people on the planet and our carbon footprint was much smaller. With a change in population and technology, you shall not murder then could become you shall murder. There are too many people anyway. Anyone can make that kind of a culture argument easily. Moreover, those who make these culture accusations never meet up with much of a burden of proof. They cannot prove it is mere culture, but simply rely heavily on their own ponderous story telling. Ask them to prove it is nothing but culture based on the text, or even on logic, and you will find they cannot. You can no more write off male headship as culture, than you can write off the male-female nature of marriage as culture, than you can write off foot washing in the Church as culture. If someone tells you plain moral commands or New Testament teaching is mere culture, be very suspicious. You will find they cannot meet a serious burden of proof. Take the Word of God over their ponderings any day. I write this here, and emphasized it many times in my book, because we would have so little without it. God’s Word is our authority. Many today seem to actually mock God’s Word as some little book full of words, but that is their own small-mindedness and unwavering pride. Holy Scripture is the Almighty speaking to us, it is supernatural, and it is truth. We could ask for nothing more. Much of the destruction which has happened with our marriages and families is directly tied in to denying what God has actually said. Likewise, much of what will heal our land, and bless our descendants, is little more than obeying God’s commands in the Bible. God’s teaching on marriage is neither very ambiguous nor impossible for us. It is simple, and we are powered by the Spirit to do it. When God says submit, He means submit. When God says love, He means love. When God says it is only death which ends a marriage, it is only death which ends a marriage. Most of all, when God says forgive, we must forgive. Restoration is not far from our sight brothers, and no matter how bad the situation looks, the Lord can pour out His mercy like water upon us. We only need to hear God’s Word and obey Him. While this book is divided into six main chapters, reflecting six main pillars of marriage, there are a number of other subjects I cover under each heading, including many of the activities, and the lifestyle that comes with running a Christian home. Some of the subjects which I discuss – often in depth -- beyond those six pillars of marriage are these:
There’s more in there, but that amounts to many of the sub-topics the book delves into. I ask the readers to let themselves be fed by it. Also to let themselves be challenged by it, even if it challenges their worldview, and their deeply held beliefs. Some of it certainly will. Christians are deeply wedded to the world, hooked on materialism, and definitely need their worldview challenged. As I say in my book, the BEST thing I ever did before getting married was just decide that I would trust what the Holy Bible teaches on marriage. I didn’t worry about reading any Christian books or going to Christian counselors. I trusted in the Bible as the guidance for our marriage, and have been guided well. We have also been protected from a lot of the nonsense that’s out there in the ministry world. It doesn't touch us at all. God’s Word is TRUTH. Trust in it. The goodness that has come to our family from trusting in the Scriptures I want for you too, in abundance.
***** The other “best” thing I did before marriage was make sure my wife and I were agreed on what marriage is all about. That meant: 1--We both agreed marriage was for life and you simply do not end it. You don’t end it for sin, but you forgive sin and you continue to live with the person. We were agreed adultery does not end a marriage. 2--We were also agreed on the structure of marriage, that there is only one leader – that’s the man – and the wife is to help him and submit to him. There is an unambiguous pillar of authority. 3--We were both agreed that children are always a blessing and that it is good to accept many children from the Lord. 4--We were agreed that the wife should be in the home and raising the children, so when our first child came along, she would quite the part-time job she already had to be home full time. She would educate our children and do the valuable work around the household. 5—We were agreed that “love” is a job, and that we were committed to doing the job of loving each other and our children regardless of what our feelings were. We committed ourselves to the responsibilities of love. I cannot imagine going into marriage without being agreed to and committed to these truths and more. They make a well-functioning vessel and are rooted in the Word of God. God’s way is life, peace, happiness and harmony. It's not a mystery how to have a good home. It's not a great feat. Just walk in God's ways and keep following them. “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15:10 |
AuthorI am Ordinary Brother, Author of Get Married and Save the World. I hope you are enriched by this blog about my book and a little of my life. Archives
January 2020
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